In this video I try to put a much larger experience into one minute. The clearest change I can name is this: my fear of death became smaller.

During an ayahuasca experience, I felt the presence of an intelligence beyond the everyday version of myself. I understood it through God, spirit and a sense of belonging to something larger. The experience felt deeply real to me.

That is my account of what I experienced. It is not proof of what happens after death. I want to keep both sentences together.

The consequence was about living

The surprising part is where the thought took me. It did not make this life feel disposable. It made the time here feel more important.

I wanted to create more. To have more moments. To bring more love into the life I actually have. Those are the consequences I describe in the clip, rather than a theory I can demonstrate about another world.

A belief about something larger can become an excuse to float away from ordinary responsibilities. The useful question for me goes in the other direction: what does that belief ask me to do while I am here?

Experience, meaning, evidence. Experience: What I felt and perceived.. Meaning: The spiritual interpretation I gave it.. Evidence: What can be independently checked; an afterlife is not established here.
A distinction between personal testimony and an externally verifiable claim.

Three things that should stay separate

There is the experience itself: a powerful change in perception and feeling. There is the meaning I gave it: spiritual connection and less fear. And there is what another person could independently verify.

Those categories are not interchangeable. My certainty in a moment does not become a scientific finding because I describe it with conviction. Another person may interpret a similar experience differently, or have an experience that is frightening rather than comforting.

NIDA describes psychedelic effects as potentially involving strong emotions and substantial changes in perception. Research into possible medical uses does not establish the safety or benefit of every ceremony or individual experience. ¹

An experience is not a recommendation

Ayahuasca carries psychological and physical risks, and interactions with medicines can be serious. My story does not tell you whether it would be safe for you. Do not change prescribed treatment or pursue a ceremony on the strength of this video; individual risks require qualified medical advice. ²

You do not need to repeat my experience to use the question it left me with: if this time matters, what deserves more of it?

Bring the question back to this life. Time: What am I postponing?. Creation: What can I make or contribute?. Love: Who deserves my attention today?
Reflection inspired by the video. No substance use is needed for this exercise.

A conversation I keep postponing. Something I want to create. Time with the people I love. The point is to turn a large feeling into an ordinary, visible action.

I cannot hand another person my certainty. I can describe the direction it gave me.

Less fear. More life while I am here.

Sources and calculation notes